One of the most difficult things we can experience is feeling stressed about our major relationships. By stressed I mean - distressed, negative, "no hope", ... By major relationships I mean the spouse, partner, parents and kids. But you can use this insight for the secondary relationships that go sour with the boss, work colleague and good friends. And of course never forget to use this idea to heal the most important relationship of all - within yourself - low self-esteem being an obvious symptom.

And of course that is to change the mind (and the marriage counsellor?)  from focusing on everything that is going wrong and instead look for anything that you can be grateful for in the relationship. If your mind argues with you that there is nothing redeeming, just tell it that "when I change the energy from the 'wrong' to the 'good' I will stop feeling drained and I deserve to feel better."

So what first? If you are someone who learns visually (reading is an easy way for you to pick up information) or  kinaesthetically (if you touch it / do it then you learn) then grab a piece of notepad and pen and find a quiet place to sit. Those who learn audiently (through listening) grab a recording device (most phones have one) and get ready to go for a walk or find a space you are not overheard.

Now breathe in and breathe out. Call on your guides to help you with the emotion/mind-games of the situation or hold a crystal (green if heart wounded, purple if you have mind-games).

Bring the person and situation to mind. And ask your mind to find anything you can be grateful for. To hard to find grateful? Then anything you can appreciate at least.

Here's an example. Your boss is the problem.

"I am grateful that they at least hired me even if everything has gone bad now."
"I appreciate that he does notice I work back even if he doesn't thank me"
"I am grateful that she dresses nicely at work. It is interesting to see what is worn each day." (I said anything positive)
"I am grateful I am employed so I buy ..."

Here's another example. You think poorly of yourself.

"I am grateful for my health. Even if I have back pain, at least I don't have ..."
"I am grateful that I have Jenny as my friend. She sees something in me even if I don't yet."
"I appreciate that I try hard to be a good person."
"I appreciate that I have a nice smile."
"I am grateful that I gave myself time to read this interesting article today to help myself."

And a final example. Having a really crappy day.

"I am grateful that the clouds look great even if I don't."
"I am grateful for the lovely roses I saw in my walk."
"I appreciate that today was bad but yesterday was really good."

Over time you should also phase out the "even if" too phrases.

Already the mind has excuse not to do this? "Can't find a notepad, I'll do it tomorrow"/ "I don't want to go for a walk". So, grab a scrap of paper instead. Still too hard ... then just THINK the new thought. The mind has NO excuse to not start.

And by the way Oprah has written a gratitude journal for years. I use this technique all the time to pull myself out of slumps. But I also use it each day to just let myself slow down and notice how many good things there are in life.

I will also make a big statement - get every relationship from bad to neutral before you make the final "split". I believe strongly in soul contracts (we plan for the ups and downs to learn and grown into creators of happiness) and the Universal Laws of Attraction, Love, Forgiveness, and Karma. If things do not get to a mental and emotional "neutral" position for you, you will find yourself attracting the same situation again. Energy healing and counselling can help here too to get things resolved inside you. However always keep yourself safe as you do this.

Universal Laws

• Attraction - as you think/feel so you attract/create in your life;
• Love - we all deserve love and are loved no matter what anyone says;
• Forgiveness -  forgive (not condone) so you can release the burden you carry from the situation;
• Karma - as you do, it comes back to you or as Jesus said "do to others as you would have them do to you"